Deary, deary me.

Was that a double or a treble he had.

"strip club bender before final" - would that no be a semi?

If he was planning havin a kip on the pavey, ye'd think he'd have wore his striped pyjamas.

Way he speaks, it wouldn't need a head knock.

For those of us who dont subscribe to online Sun newspaper, here's the full story courtesy of my mate who does.

DRUNKEN Scott Brown puts the boot into Celtic boss Ronny Deila’s healthy eating regime — as he sits slumped on the pavement scoffing greasy pizza and chips after a strip club bender. The sozzled Hoops skipper got the munchies at the end of a boozy night out that saw him guzzling vodkas and stumbling around lapdancing bars in Edinburgh with his pals.

Deila has banned fries and fizzy pop from Celtic’s training ground to get his squad in top shape to tackle Europe’s elite.

But midfield ace Brown was having a night off from the new regime — days before he’ll lead out the Hoops on Sunday at Hampden for the League Cup final against Dundee United.

The hoodie-wearing ace took a breather on the street to scoff the chippie feast — capping a night that saw him get so blitzed he FELL ASLEEP during a lapdance.

A source at Baby Dolls club — one of the stop-offs on the lads’ night out — said: “Scott was a bit wobbly on his feet."

Brown, 29, was spotted out in the capital on Wednesday after a day off from training.

First he lapped up the attention of scantily-clad girls at the Burke and Hare — where he flashed the cash and enjoyed drinks while chatting to dancers.

The Scotland star generously offered to buy a dance “with any woman" for one elderly punter — but his eyes were already rolling and he was unsteady on his pins.

And his topless fun went sour when he he turned his attention to three dancers perched on stools in the corner of the club.

Brown was seen wagging his finger at one of the performers while words were exchanged. A barman tried to calm him down as he slumped over the bar.

But one dancer tottered over to him and said: “He’s a piece of s**t." Brown — who had his back turned to the woman — said: “She thinks she’s something special."

The dancer then yelled: “If you’ve got something to say to me, say it to my face."

Brown told the barman it was “just banter" — but the pub boss warned him away from the three girls.

He said: “If you don’t speak to them and they don’t speak to you they’ll enjoy their night and you’ll enjoy yours."

Brown left a short time later for another strip joint — the Western Bar — only for door staff to refuse him entry.

But he was allowed into nearby Baby Dolls lapdancing club, where he and a pal proceeded to order up vodkas.

He was quickly surrounded by eight girls. The player — by this point wobbling on his feet — then disappeared to a private area.

But just three minutes later he stumbled back into the bar and was helped out the door by a bouncer — who told him to “get some food and sober up".

A dancer emerged seconds later and complained to Brown’s pal: “He fell asleep during the dance. I don't care if I got my £20 off him."

Brown stumbled to a takeaway before resting on the pavement. But he was barely able to get the grub in his mouth as a pal stood over him. He was finally helped away by a friend just before 11pm.

Last night the Baby Dolls source said: “Brown and his pal weren’t in that long.“ They had a couple of dances then left with no trouble, although they both clearly had a good drink in them.“ Scott was a bit wobbly on his feet."

Brown will return to training today after two days off. 

Darren Fletcher on the bench tae